The War Games

‘I not only admit (my actions), I am proud of them. While you have been content merely to observe the evil in the galaxy, I have been fighting against it.’

The Doctor

19^th April – 21^st June 1969

The Memory Cheats

Here we go then. The Magnum Opus. The Second Doctor’s final story, the last story of the sixties, the final story in black and white and the last time we can genuinely ask the question, ‘Doctor Who?’

This really is an epic. A game changer they call this now. Still no regeneration for the Doctor but we finally find out Who he is. Or begin to.

This story was always an exciting mystery for me. I first read about it in the tenth anniversary special. I read the novelisation a couple of times I think. It was great. Also, the Science Museum had a Doctor Who exhibit at some point in the eighties. They had the clip where the travellers try to get back to the TARDIS in slow motion (I think) on repeat. Of course this held special interest for me and I watched it again and again.

Time Space Visualiser

A specially shot title sequence, over war stock footage I think. Then straight into the story. What a start! Troughton is on great form. He portrays the Second Doctor’s contempt for the military and authority as he deals with any interrogation with put downs and humour. A fantastic female character. Lady Jennifer. Slowly we realise this is not a historical Doctor Who story about the First World War, there is something fishy going on.

Smythe is a great villain. I remember his name from the novel. He walks up to the picture but what for? It’s all very 1984. ‘5,000 specimens’ Then the specimens start to get self-aware and realise they can’t remember quite where this all started. Then the mind control with the glasses. Suddenly we hear TARDIS sound effect and a strange box materialises. What on Earth could that be? The strange mist. The mystery builds so well. The Doctor gets Carstairs and Lady Jennifer to see the screen by overcoming their conditioning but they are seen by Smythe and a member of eighties pop sensation, The Buggles.The design of the war zone is extremely imaginative.

The Romans are back. ‘Isn’t this where we were attacked by the Romans?’ asks Carstairs in episode seven. And here they are again. Doing exactly what they did last time and moving in exactly the same way. Maybe it is a time loop. Rudolph Walker off of EastEnders is great and there are lots of really good moments in these early episodes, but when we get to the war room it really gets going.

There are many mysteries. ‘He is one of your race?’ challenges the Security Chief. So which race is the security chief? They are not humans. We are told of the people in each zone, so what are they? The home planet is mentioned though not named.

Sometimes it seems very contrived when two of the baddies mistrust each other. The sparing between the War Lord, the War Chief and the Security Chief is contrived and, at times, blatantly camp. James Bree wonderfully overplays his role. He is a jumped up nobody and uses too many vowels in every word. Edward Brayshaw is every inch the pantomime villain and I can’t help the Mr Meaker flashbacks. However, their mutual mistrust is believable and always entertaining. Then Mr Hi de Hi himself Philip Madoc is back. Isn’t he superb? What a performance. What a gift this man was to the show. Every moment he is in is great. It makes me want to watch him in Lloyd George again.

Utter brilliance from start to finish. OK it doesn’t need ten episodes to tell its story but it never feels over long due to the pace, dialogue and performances. The three leads are at the best. Jamie has been on a real journey, more so than any previous companion. Zoe started as annoyingly too clever but through Wendy Padbury’s performance you can’t help warming to her. Troughton gives you every shade in this story. One of his real strengths has been absolute believability. His fear in summoning his own people is chilling. This is the stuff from which legends are born.

Lookie Likey

Toby Jones is Captain Lanson the soldier who works for Smythe.

Best Extra of the Week

Stand there and look surprised! What amazing acting from the centurion at the start of episode 3 as the ambulance disappears.

Notable Firsts

The Doctor uses the monika Doctor John Smith in episode 3.

After 291 episodes of adventures in space and time we get our first reference to the Time Lords. With the help of a mind probe, James Bree asks the Doctor if he is on a mission from the Time Lords. But it is the War Chief who identifies the Doctor. ‘You may have changed your appearance, but I know who you are.’

Is it our first trip to Gallifrey? Not sure if the trial room is on the ‘home planet’ or still in the War Lord’s base.

Insert the Device

The mind probe?

The Security Cheif puts it on his head and starts sentences for Zoe to finish. Look at these pictures. You well tell me if you see anyone you know. Particularly, this, DOCTOOOOR!

The glasses are quite something too.

Campest Moment of the Week

The Doctor is interrogated by Lucke. He explains they were lost.  ‘Oooohhh! You were lost were you sweetie!’ Replies Lucke. The Camp Commandant!

The 500 Year Diary

23^rd January 309906 am

Landed in No Man’s Land the middle of the Great War being shot at! We’re rescued by a Lady Jennifer, but then we’re ambushed by the Germans. We’re rescued again by a Lt. Carstairs and taken onto Major Barrington who sends us to the controlling officer’s Chateau , General Smythe, as they’re obviously suspicious of us… well we have landed in the middle of the trenches dressed as civilians. The war games of these humans….

We’re then subjected to a shambolic and staged court martial and sentenced to be shot at dawn. Zoe comes to rescue me, but it’s too late. The firing squad is assembled and a shot rings out…

 

23^rd January 309906 am

The shot came from a sniper and in the confusion, Zoe and I manage to escape. We make our way to the military prison where Jamie is being held. I manage to bluff my in as an Examiner from the War Office … I remember that working before, but only for a little while as the commandant, Gorton, becomes suspicious so we have to knock him out. Note to self, get some psychic paper.

We’re captured again by Captain Ransom and taken back to the Chateau and locked up. Lt Carstairs rescues and we start to piece together what’s going on. Jamie encountered a Redcoat who had sketchy memories and Zoe had come across some anachronistic apparatus in Smythe’s office. Well, need a closer look at that is required so off we go  although Carstairs & Lady Jennifer can’t see it. The unit is active – someone may have seen us.

We manage to escape in an ambulance through a mist only to come across Romans!

 

23^rd January 309906 pm

We manage to get the ambulance restarted and reverse back into 1917. These mists must be a force field barrier separating different time zones. I need a map so we return to the Chateau and blow up Smythe’s safe. Yes, they are many time zones reflecting different eras of Earth’s history. Decide to cross into the German zone where we are captured again!

Managed to nearly persuade the German lieutenant that things are not right, but then his commanding officer arrives and after doing something with his monocle manages to exert an influence over him; however, I’m better than that so we escape again and head to black triangle in the middle of the map.

We arrive in the American Civil War zone. Carstairs is captured and we keep going until the van’s petrol run out. We’re taken to a barn and a travel capsule arrives – dozens of troops come out. It arrived with the sound of the TARDIS and is bigger on the inside. I wonder? Zoe and I go and take a look, but the door shuts!

 

23^rd January 309906 pm

Arrive at the control centre where Zoe and I disguise ourselves using masks after finding dozens of hypnotised men ready for battle. We end up in a lecture hall where we realise we are on an alien planet. We watch the Chief Scientist fiddle with a mental conditioning device which he then experiments on with Lt. Carstairs. When he comes to, he recognises us as German spies, but luckily the Chief Scientist thinks the conditioning has failed again and he’s taken away to be deprocessed.

The War Chief arrives. Oh no. It can’t be. We run….

 

23^rd January 309906 night

Come across the Chief Scientist again and manage to convince him I am a devoted student. Persuade him to deprocess Carstairs, which he does, and we overpower him,

Through some very lax security we rescue Zoe, who had been captured, and manage to look through the files for resistance members.

We then witness the massacre of Jamie and other members of the resistance as a travel capsule arrives at central control!

 

24^th January 309906 am

Luckily the guns were on stun and the bodies are taken for reprocessing. Manage to muscle in there and convince the Chief Scientist that I’m there to help him again except I overpower him again!

I revive Russell and explain who I am and decide the best plan is to get the resistance together – thank goodness for Zoe and her photographic memory! Jamie was taken away as he had never been processed so we rescue him from the security centre (where there is an ironic lack of security!).

Send Russell and the others back to the war zones to gather the resistance whilst I steal the processing equipment which I manage to do because the War Chief and Security Chief are endlessly bickering!

We get into a travel capsule, but then the dimensions start to shrink!

 

24^th January 309906 eve

I come out of the capsule under the ruse of a truce waving a white handkerchief, but set off an explosive device, distracting the aliens meaning I can restore the dimensions and control the directional unit of the travel capsule. Off to the Roman Zone and then off to meet Zoe in the 1917 zone, but we’re captured and taken back to General Smyth who wants me shot instantaneously.

Again saved at the last minute as the resistance arrive and Smyth is shot. We’re in control of the Chateau and manage to construct a force field barrier. AS I start to use the stolen processing equipment, a travel capsule arrives. They take me and the equipment and shoot everyone else!

25^th January 309906 am

I’m interrogated by the Security Chief who is convinced that I am in league with the War Chief. The War Chief comes in and stops the torture. It was him, a fellow Time Lord and we talk about how I stole my TARDIS. He then tells me about his plans for universal domination through using the war games to select the strongest men as a force for peace. What an abominable plan – how many are being killed in the process? And why is the War Chief sharing our planet’s technology with these aliens. I want no part of it! But they are going to drop a neutron bomb and destroy everything. I have to go along with it to stop this genocide!

I feel very bad, but I lure the resistance to the control centre in a travel capsule only for them all to be taken prisoner.

 

25^th January 309906 pm

There is a fatal flaw in the War Chief’s plan. He wants my TARDIS because his own machines have a limited life span. I continue to pretend to go along with it all by pretending to improve the processing machines, but the Security Chief puts me in there alone with the resistance who nearly kill me! The War Chief’s survival saves me and I start ‘processing’ the prisoners until the Mexican fellow nearly ruins it all!

We plan a raid on the war planning room where the War Chief callously kills the Security Chief. He then reveals the time capsules are nearly depleted. How am I going to get the soldiers home? I can’t leave them here? I have no choice… I don’t want to… I have to summon up the Time Lords using a mental transfer cube. The War Chief will not face them as he is killed by the War Lord as he tries to escape.

Time to go. I don’t want to be around when they arrive. We drop Carstairs off who vanishes. They’re coming! Time slows down and there is a strange sound. We just about get to the TARDIS, but is it too late?

 

25^th January 309906 eve

We manage to evade the Time Lords for a while, but they manage to capture me in the end.  So I’m back home. Things haven’t changed around here. I’m to stand trial for stealing the TARDIS  to travel the universe, against Time Lord law. One of my judges is Goth – he’s never liked me!

They also have the War Lord on trial who they eventually make speak. However, his guards arrive and recapture him – they must have left the transduction barriers down – and they attempt an escape by taking me hostage. But there’s no escape for him. His planet is trapped in a force field and cut off from the rest of the universe like they never existed.

I’m charged with breaking the laws of time and interfering in the histories of other planets. But I had to. I had to defeat the Quarks, the Yeti, the Ice Warriors, The Cybermen and the Daleks. AS I await my fate, Jamie and Zoe rescue me and we try one final escape, but it was never going to happen. I say goodbye to Jamie and Zoe, sent back to their own times, with only a limited memory of me. How sad.

The gathered Time Lords agree there is some validity to my arguments and I think I’m going to be let off. They decide to send me to 20^th century Earth in exile with no knowledge of time travel! They can’t do this to me? I’m a wanderer and have been for many years plus they recognise me on Earth. Their solution? To forcibly change my appearance with a choice from an incredible bunch!

Next thing I’m in a dark void spinning away with a curious sensation around my face. They’re making me giddy!

Five Word Lords

Epic genesis of a mythology.

The Space Pirates

‘Oh dear, Madeleine, you’ve disappointed me. We could have made a fortune together, instead of which I have to leave and you have to die.’

Caven

8^th March – 12^th April 1969

Vital Statistics

Only two stories left from the Troughton Era and 60s Doctor Who but with 16 episodes in total these two stories gave viewers more episodes than a full 7th Doctor Season did 20 years later. It is of course the last story with any missing episodes. By the time the credits roll at the end of episode 6 there will be no further need for telesnaps recons and soundtracks. At some points these have been hard work but as they have been such a rarity in the last few stories these final five do not seem a challenge and I am pleased to have been on this pilgrimage enjoying all these episodes chronologically. And am thankful that fans of the show more dedicated than me have made this journey much more enjoyable than it otherwise would have been.

Time Space Visualiser

Is this the longest we have to wait for the TARDIS crew to arrive? I didn’t log the time but it is less than ten minutes from the end of the episode and when they do all they do is get separated from the TARDIS and provide us with a cliffhanger. I am puzzled slightly but what is going on but basically there are four stations orbiting in a group, some space pirates wondering between all of the stations doing a bit of space walking (nice loose cannon CGI thank you.) and George Layton off of Brookside and it Ain’t Half Hot Mum has an amazing moustache off of Earl’s Court in the 70s.

It’s all a bit baffling but I think I am focusing too much on how good Jack May is at shouting in a microphone. (Always loved him on the Archers,) will try and pay better attention in episode two. And we are back to live action. Donald Gee as Ian Warne reminds me slightly of Ian Levine. Surely his helmet is the Ice Lord’s from last week. As helmets go (oh-err) Madeline clearly has the best in any Doctor Who story to date, almost as good as the UFO purple wigs. It even has a side parting. I wonder if you can get different types.

It is argonite the pirates are after and have a very clever way of getting it back too with the baffling controlled formation that we later find will happily have brought it to the Argonite planet. Clancy is after the Pirates and General Hermack is of course wrong to suspect him. The travellers begin their search in the claustrophobic tunnels and running away from a blast from a pirate gun lead us into the third cliffhanger as they all fall.

The travelers find Milo Clancy down in the mine and he is unconscious. Using a stethoscope The Doctor manages to locate an audio switch. Quite how that helps is unclear. The commander is still obsessed with finding Clancy and proving him as the pirate. Meanwhile, the real pilots insert the end of their ship into a handy nose cone disguising them as a mining ship. The only difference between the two rather bizarrely. Not sure why Jamie gets so angry with the Doctor trying out different notes on the tuning fork, other than to provide the comedy solution with Jamie hitting the note by mistake. Doesn’t a tuning fork always play the same notes? The music in this is all sing songy Star Trek again but it works.

I can’t confess to be that interested in the main plot of the argonite and the pirates but despite the short comings there are some lovely parts to the story. Early reservations aside I can’t help warming to Clancy and Maud with the silver hair. Her character goes on a much better journey than most of the female leads since Pauline Collins. The regulars are on form but they seem to spend too much of the episode traveling from one setting to the next and are almost incidental to the plot.

Notable Firsts

Ian Warne has the first mention of a mind probe, 14 years before the Five Doctors.

Cliché Counter

Clancy. His clothes, wig, moustache, accent. Just about everything about him! We haven’t seen a stereotype quite this full of clichés in a while. He even has a tray from those catalogues you used to get with the Radio Times. It gets quite stressful though, watching him try and relax to eat his food. I found myself talking to the iPad telling him to just eat at the desk!

Seems a very first Doctor set up to have the TARDIS crew separated from their ship and basically only sort out the pirate problem to get back to it.

It is not until episode three that Zoe gets asked to make tea.

Fascinating Facts

The Space Pirates is the last missing story from the archives. In the 70s old episodes of Doctor Who were regularly cut up and turned into Christmas decorations by Valerie Singleton on Blue Peter.

The Best Scooby Doo Laughing at the End of the Episode award at the 1969 Golden Globes was hotly contested between the end of episode 6 of Space Pirates and an episode of Bewitched (starring of course JR and Sue Ellen (29) off of Dallas.) both episodes were however pipped to the post by the end of ‘The Galileo Seven’, an Episode of the popular Star Trek series.

The 500 Year Diary

21^st January 2135 am

Landed somewhere on a space ship. Initially think we’re alone, but then we get shot at. We run away from the space pirates I suppose, but the men disappear leaving us as prisoners as they weld the lock of the room we’re in. Next thing there’s an explosion!

 

21^st January 2135 pm

Trapped inside a section of a beacon. Oxygen begins to run out. Try to use a bit of magnetism to attract the next segment, but instead we go hurtling off into space. Ooops!

We’re then boarded and Jamie is shot!

 

21^st January 2135 eve

Jamie was just stunned and we end up being rescued by a quaint old fellow called Milo Clancey who takes us on his tinpot spaceship with an actual china teapot.

He takes us to the planet Ta where the Issigri Mining Corporation is based. He tells us to stay put, but Zoe messes around with applied mathematics and works out the TARDIS has landed here. Why didn’t I work that out? Anyway, we get lost in the argonite mines. Next thing, we hear men and gunfire coming towards us so we dive down a passage which is a massive chasm…

 

21^st January 2135 am

Well the chasm wasn’t actually that big and I land on my drawing pins. I like drawing pins. We’ve landed in a prison cell alongside one of the men who was shooting at us in the beacon – a Lieutenant Sorba. Turns out he’s alright.

Work out that there must be another way in – there must be an audio lock. Use a tuning fork which I happen to have with me. Must make sure I keep my sonic screwdriver on me at all times! Anyway Jamie accidentally finds the right note and we escape, running into Milo again.

We head for the headquarters of the corporation pursued once again and hindered by an injured Sorba. We make it and then a Cavan bursts in and kills Sorba!

 

21^st January 2135 pm

The boss, Madeleine Issigri, is in league with these nasty space pirates, but manages to plead for us not to be killed. Instead we’re thrown into an old study where we find Dom Issigri, who used to be Milo’s old partner and Madeleine’s father.

We escape again – again, luckily had marbles on me! Get separated from Jamie and Zoe and go back to look for them and end up being caught in the backblast from the rockets.

 

21^st January 2135 pm

Jamie and Zoe rescue me and I manage to recover.

Just a rush to sort everything out. Cavan has set up an explosive atomic charge, but manage to remove the detonator. In addition, have to help Milo remove the remote control from his ship, which manage to do.

The pirates are destroyed, Madeleine will stand trial. Milo offers us a lift to the TARDIS. Jamie said he’d rather walk. I said we might have to. How we laughed!

 

Artwork: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/religionprof/2012/06/doctor-who-the-space-pirates.html

The Five Word Lords

Not enough burgeoning Holmsean genius.

The Seeds of Death

‘Your leader will be angry if you kill me. I’m a genius’ The Doctor

25^th January – 1^st March 1969

The Memory Cheats

A bit like with One Direction fans today, all Doctor Who fans that were around in the 1980s know the meaning of the word ‘hiatus’. Roy had recorded much of the 1985 series of Doctor Who on videotape for me; we didn’t get our first video until the following summer. During the eighteen month gap between season’s 22 and 23 I watched the whole of Colin Baker’s first full season and this story. I rented Seeds of Death and watched it in 25 minute segments. I loved it and watching it still brings back memories of this early foray into watching Doctor Who on video tape.

Time Space Visualiser

‘Bombay Tokyo shipment activated. Bombay sending now. Tokyo receiving now. Dispatch completed. New York to Moscow delayed. Moonbase clearance awaited…….’ And so begins this tale. Is that the same moonbase that The Cybermen attacked? It’s not the first use of teleportation in a Doctor Who story but it is a pivotal point of the story here. I would have loved this as a child.

The first of the cast members I recognise is Victor off of Corrie.We finally see a seed of death and it blows up in the doctors face apparently killing him. Well it is a seed of death don’t you know and it isn’t even the end of the episode. I want foam and gurning! The seed arrives in London to shouts that the T Mat is working they all rush up to the materialised seed and instead of getting excited that someone has sent them a balloon attached to a fancy pump from 90s furniture store The Pier they say, ‘it’s alive!’ Should Zoe really have just stood there in front of the disco lights while Fewsham tried to save her?

They all wearing underpants over their trousers. And they all carry briefcases! I think this is the subtext message that says ‘I am in charge.’ First it was Osgood and now Sir James Gregson, but he can’t be bothered to hold it for very long. The monster was last seen heading for the weather control station they conclude. Happily he pauses in front of a big sign and looks at it. It says weather control station! And happily the door is unlocked. And the weather control unit is soo sophisticated.

Interesting use of light in the story. The cockpit of the rocket and the T Mat Centre on the moon all have a great array of disco lights. Do you know how to use the computer? Asks Jamie when Zoe wants to contact Radnor to tell him about the rain. Well it is really complex but after I wave my hand around I just, well, kind of talk to it. The body count is huge.

The Doctor running to the weather station at the end of episode 5 is the best running on the spot acting since Susan in the Daleks. Though quite what the jeopardy is when the third balloon bursts in his face is I am not sure. He survived the first two. You know you are in a good Second Doctor story when he is surrounded with wires.

You don’t often see the Doctor actually killing creatures but he gets straight on with disposing of the Ice Warrior in episode 6 without much worry. But it is all death in this story as the Doctor kills the Ice Lord and sends the rather idly voiced Ice Marshall off to the sun. Is that an astral map I see just as the travelers head back in to the TARDIS. Odd the Doctor doesn’t seem to even notice it.

They say familiarity breeds contempt. Not with this story. I have seen it many times and I still love it. The Ice Warriors are a bit rubbish, and the temperature at which the Ice Warriors are killed at over 40 degrees would also have made life quite tricky for the humans. It is also basically the same story as the previous Ice Warrior tale but the regulars and the direction make this enjoyable for me, even if it maybe only because of the nostalgia of watching it in those early video days.

Innuendo Bingo

Episode 5 12:45

Radnor: How soon can you get one up?

Cliche Counter

Miss Kelly is fab even if she is a bit of a cliche. Sexy, scientific woman and all that. Great hairstyle.

Episode three is basically just running through corridors and let’s Jamie have a quick sexist outburst exclaiming ‘women’ as Zoe tells him which corridor to run down.

Foam! ‘Will the Doctor be alright with all that foam?’ asks Jamie, rocking, drinking milk.

In the Footer

We will have a teleport system that transports us and all the imports and exports of food, goods and emergency supplies, with no back up planning all performed via a capsule the size of a photo booth loading the grain supplies for a whole country would be fun and yet we still carry around an old leather briefcase. And you can kill an ice warrior with a solar flare produced from a power source that you plug into a 70s 3 way adapter off of Woolworths. (A round pin plug too!)

Notable Firsts

The first character called Osgood in Doctor Who. And he has a briefcase. He doesn’t last long unfortunately but he dies a hero.

The first trip into space for the regulars in a rocket.

Unprovoked Angry Retort of the Week.

Zoe: But I thought T Mat had broken down.

Miss Kelly: Not any more I repaired it.

Yeah! Shut up Zoe!

Vital Statistics

Episodes watched so far: 237 out of 826.

If all of televised Doctor Who so far were the song Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, Freddie Mercury would be singing the first ‘carry’ from the line ‘Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.’ at the end of the fourth verse.

 The 500 Year Diary

19^th January 2040 am

Look! A space museum! Hoped it wasn’t the same one as before….

Find out about T-Mat which according to this Professor Eldred has superseded space travel by rocket. Sounds like a good idea, although perhaps they should have thought about a back-up plan. Turns out that would have been a good idea as T-Mat is broken and Commander Radnor and Miss Kelly try and persuade the Professor to get his rocket going, but he’s having none of it.

Meanwhile, the Earth’s population begins to starve – have they got rid of storage in this century? Oh dear… the seeds of death are sown.

 

19^th January 2040 pm

We agree to man the rocket which they prepare in super quick time. Happily, Zoe has total recall so she will remember everything; however, flying a rocket is child’s play – well, once you get over the G-Force.

Everything seems to be going fine until the homing beacon on the moon cuts out. We’re either going to crash or drift endlessly in space!

 

19^th January 2040 eve

Thankfully, we make contact with a Mr. Phipps whose signal allows me to make a rather dodgy landing. Leave Jamie and Zoe to take care of things whilst I destroy T-Mat and deal with the Ice Warriors who have taken over the moonbase. See Miss Kelly there. So they repaired T-Mat – so the whole rocket thing was a waste of time!

End up getting chased around the base by Ice Warriors. Luckily, they’re quite slow. This moonbase is better than the one with the Graviton – it’s got a hall of mirrors. Eventually, I’m cornered and about to be shot, but I declare my genius which gets their attention and I get taken to their leader.

A Mr. Fewsham is helping the aliens to secure his own survival. I do manage to persuade him to cause a distraction whilst I go and look at what they are intending to send down to Earth. A seed. It expands. It blows up in my face!

 

19^th January 2040 night

Out of it. Vaguely remember being taken out of the T-Mat cubicle, but that’s about it.

 

20^th January 2040 am

Wake up. Thankfully the heat has affected the Ice Warriors and knocked them out. Remarkably this has had no effect on us!

We T-Mat back to Earth. Fewsham was supposed to follow us back on a time delay, but he was lying as his final brave act was to alert us to the Martian’s homing signal. Poor man. He’ll never see his actions hopefully cause their defeat.

Discover that the seed pods will eventually change the atmosphere of Earth to be like Mars. Fortunately, after some… er… rigorous testing… discover that the fungus can be destroyed by water. Need to go to the weather control centre, but those pesky kids have gone on ahead of me! As I reach the centre, I’m overwhelmed in the foamy fungus!

 

20^th January 2040 pm

Zoe opens the door to let me in and escape the fungus although not sure why she found it so funny!

Manage to fix the damage done by an Ice Warrior to the control centre and cause the rain to fall.

Just the Martians on the moon to deal with. Have to destroy their homing signal. In the end only manage to disrupt it, but enough to send them towards the sun. Was about to get shot, but Jamie saves me and we deal with the final Ice Warrior.

Leave them to it at T-Mat control as we heads off again with Jamie complaining about the heavy rain and saying I have no more idea than the man on the moon!

Artwork BBC DVD Cover: The Seeds of Death

 

The Five Word Lords

(N)Icelord, shame about the Warriors!

The Krotons

‘It is not patriotism to lead people into a war they cannot win.’ Selris

28^th December 1968 – 18 January 1969

The Time Space Visualiser

Abagon and Varnagon are selected and get to wear some serious shiny shoulder pads! Also, all their friends get to celebrate without making a noise. (It would cost too much.) And off to the Krotons. They must be obeyed! Fascinating structures says the Doctor. Magnesium Silicate. Looks like slate to me, but let’s hope we don’t bump in to a crystalline life form. Nice location filming. Abagon gets turned into silicon jizz. Then it’s Philip Madoc. A hugely underrated actor anywhere else apart from in Doctor Who land.

Love the Gon’s stripy socks. ‘How can they be from another planet?’ Asks a Gon. Isn’t that what they said in The Dominators? The design on the story is superb. Amazing graphics produce an X on the screen. I know it’s probably an animation rather than a CGI but nonetheless it is very good. The spinning Kroton heads are rather good too.

On paper this should be excellent. Robert Holmes, Philip Madoc, not to mention the regulars. There is a lot to like about it. The voices of the Krotons are quite unique; bizarre yet effective. The design. Of the monsters and of the sets is really good. It just all makes for a rather humdrum story of a dull alien race being used for something another oppressive alien race wants.

Cliche Counter

The Gons are another cliched alien race. They all wear the same clothes, until they get picked to go to the Krotons in the glittery shoulder padded cape. They speak in lofty hyperbole. There is the angry one that wants trouble with the TARDIS crew and the reasonable one who calms him down. All we need is for mysterious aliens to cull them when they reach a certain age as an honour. Ahh!

And This Week’s False Moustache is Modelled by:

The custodian of the teaching machines. It’s a pointy one too. It even gets tied down by the gag he is made to wear.

Innuendo Bingo

9:27 Episode 2

Varna: The ball. The burning ball. (Ouch!)

Jamie: a flashing ball burning her mind.

Is it another of the Kroton’s Weapons?

18:20 Episode 3

The Doctor: What goes in must come out.

Fascinating Facts

Doctor Who creator, Robert Holmes, decided to give the Krotons Birmingham accents after listening to an Album by ELO. ‘Singer Paul McCartney’s ’s Brummie tones on the song ‘I Just Can’t Get You Out of My Head’ sounded very alien.’ He told Woman’s Own magazine in an interview in 1969.

Unprovoked Angry Retort of the Week

Not so much unprovoked as unfair or unwarranted but after The Doctor puts himself at risk at the end of  episode one he has a right go at Zoe after she gets selected!

Notable Firsts

‘Oh my giddy aunt!’ This is the first time I have head the Doctor use his catchphrase. Has he used it before? Does he ever use it again?

Robert Holmes. One of the best Doctor Who writers turns in one of the worst scripts.

Philip Madoc had already appeared in the Dalek movie by this point, but this is his first classic eries role. He is brilliant!

HADS.

Outstanding Services to Coughing Award

Jamie and the chemist chap halfway through pt 4. Truly amazing.

Catchphrase Error of the Week

No one mentions putting a girl in the dynatrope.

The 500 Year Diary

17^th July 5895 pm

Arrived on a very smelly planet. Not long after landing come across a man coming out of a door who was then disintegrated. Poor chap.

We arrive in a hall and are greeted with suspicion (as per usual) by the Gonds. They tell us about a young lady called Vana who has entered the ‘machine’. We go out and rescue her before she gets disintegrated, but her mind seems empty.

Selris, the leader, tells me about the Krotons. All powerful beings that have been here for thousands of years and keep the Gonds in virtual slavery.

As we return to the hall, some of the young men are trying to vandalise these teaching machines. We try to reason with them and then this probe comes out heading straight for me.

 

17^th July 5895 eve

Luckily, the probe avoided destroying me, but got some other chap instead. Whatever’s controlling it is not very logical. Anyway a booming voice orders us to leave the hall.

I return with Zoe to investigate – the Krotons are training the Gonds, but leaving huge gaps in their knowledge. Underneath the hall is an organic structure, but while I’m away Zoe has a go on the training machine and does rather well. Her intelligence can be rather irritating at times. She is summoned to be a companion of the Krotons, so I decide I must also get in which I do… although Zoe got more right, I answered more questions.

Inside the machine, the Krotons use our mental power to create themselves out of a solution, but we manage to escape through the back door avoiding disintegration.

 

18^th July 5895 am

Spent a bit of time in the TARDIS trying to work out how best to defeat them. I have made a solution and we collect rocks. Suddenly we’re cornered by a Kroton, but thankfully he gets confused and we escape. It then attacks the TARDIS, but luckily I put the HADS on. Must remember to do that more often although the TARDIS is indestructible so why worry?

Back with the Gonds, realise that Selris’ plan is to attack the underneath of the hall. A bad idea and as I rush in and tell them, there is a massive rockfall. Ouch!

 

18^th July 5895 pm

Hardly a scratch on me, but then realise that Jamie was in the Dynatrope as the Krotons call it. Thankfully he escapes and then helps us to make sulphuric acid.

We’re captured by Eelek, a rather opportunistic man, and forced into the Dynatrope. Some sort of deal has been made. Selris rushes in and gives me the solution I made in the TARDIS. Sadly, he is disintegrated for his efforts.

Whilst they are not looking and as Zoë and I waste time, we contaminate the Dynatrope which causes the Krotons to collapse. What with the acid poured from above, we destroy the Krotons utterly. Hooray. Sneak off back to the TARDIS before asked to do anything else!

Shame about my umbrella. I like umbrellas.

Artwork BBC DVD Cover: The Krotons

 

The Five Word Lords

Not brilliant, and not awful.

The Invasion

‘You still making a nonsense of it, Doctor, in your… what’s it called? TARDIS?’

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

2^nd November – 21^st December 1968

The Time Space Visualiser

The last black and white Cyberman story and the TARDIS is invisible. They land on 1970s Earth about 10 years before 1986 and UNIT dating protocols kick in as surely ‘The Tenth Planet’ was Earth’s first contact with Cybermen.

There is a lot of talk of the mysterious ‘company.’ You can’t buy electrical equipment that is not made by the company we later find out is called International Electromatics. This notion is reminiscent of The Sontaran Stratagum and Age of Steel. ‘Stupid computer, diabolical invention.’ The running theme of the Doctor mistrusting computers seems very dated, yet the sinister threat of a global company infiltrating each area of our lives is very current.

The music is very good in this story. The animated motorbikes arrive and I can almost hear Take on Me off of A-Ha. The show in the sixties is surprisingly violent for our modern tastes and there is a lot of gunfire. Shot three times at Saturday teatime.

Tobias Vaughn! Isn’t he amazing? The Doctor hands Vaughn the electrical circuits and they look like USB sticks. Underneath all that charm is something sinister. Well it is Kevin Stoney! Zoe can’t say integer and destroys the computer. (Infernal machine) ‘There’s nothing in there except that stupid computer.’ Vaughn’s amused reaction to Zoe is great but his best scene is when he orders Watkins to shoot him. Is he the best Doctor Who non returning villain ever? ‘He will Peckerrrr! He will.’ A legend.

It’s the Brigadier and this time he really is the Brigadier having received a promotion. Benton is there too. The Brigadear is answerable to General Rutlidge and mentions Geneva for the first time.I love how when Packer talks into his radio a comedy cartoon voice off of 70s cartoons talks back. Isobel is invited out to dinner by Turner. ‘Are you stinking rich?’ she asks. Ahh the modern girl! One of the most iconic cliffhangers of the show to episode six as the Cyber-noise is sounded causing a wonderfully acted reaction of the ordinary folk and the Cybermen march down St Paul’s Steps.

The Cybermen are almost incidental in this story. It is really all about the megalomania of Tobias Vaughn and the action packed adventure from the UNIT soldiers. Despite the story spanning eight episodes, the plot never drags. This is definitely a great story.

And this Week’s False Moustaches are Modelled By:

Rodney and the Brigadier. Invasion of what? The title of the story encourages us to wonder. It’s the invasion of the killer moustaches!

Cliche Counter

Isabel. The Dolly Bird has a use though. She knows about cameras and stuff. That leads to a feminist debate. However the photos she takes are rubbish and she is much better off making tea.

Tobias Vaughn wants to rule the world.

Catchphrase Error of the Week

Brigadier says ‘Your Shindig Jimmy.’ Everyone knows it’s ‘Great Shindig, Spence!’

What Will the Whole Place be Crawling With?

The whole place will be crawling with Cybermen.

Pervy Extra of the Week.

Just before the end of episode 7, the one on the right of the last pair that Zoe gets data for her clipboard from definitely checks out her arse in the glittery cat suit. ‘Can’t we keep her on? She’s much prettier than a computer.’

Fascinating Facts

The extras used in the background of the control centre at Henlow Downs are the same extras that were used to do the typing behind Bettie Davies in Grandstand of World of Sport.

When the serial was transmitted, the makers of the sewer set from a recent Avengers serial complained to the BBC because they had not given permission to use it. In actual fact, they had been caught out by clever use of actual location filming! By way of an apology they let the BBC use the set for free in the Fourth Doctor story The Talons of Weng Chiang.

Innuendo Bingo

Lots of talk about choppers in Episode 7

Notable firsts

The TARDIS is cloaked.

Ian Levine as Benton arrives in UNIT.

Professor Watkins is Edward Burnham, making his first Doctor Who appearance as a professor. He would later appear as Professor Kettlewell in Robot

Insert the Device

The Cerebration Machine. It is a teaching device. Well what else would you call it?

The 500 Year Diary

15^th July 1972 am

Materialised in space over the dark side of the moon only to be shot at by some unknown hostiles. Manage to do an emergency dematerialisation away from the invasion and we land in England. The visual stabiliser is damaged and the TARDIS has become invisible. Need to get that repaired and it’s the right era for Professor Travers so off to London.

We’re given a lift, but we’re being followed. The driver explains to us about International Electromatics. Doesn’t sound a very nice outfit. Anyway, he drops us off and we get another lift – all this hitchhiking!

Travers has gone to America leaving his house in the care of a Professor Watkins and his niece Isobel, who likes a bit of photography. He is involved in International Electromatics. Jamie and I go and pay them a visit, but after the computer won’t let us in we’re then gassed unconscious! Hardly welcoming!

Anyway, we’re taken by a Mr. Packer to meet the boss, Tobias Vaughn – a very charming man – but something is up. Not sure what, but will find out.

15^th July 1972 am

After leaving IE’s headquarters, we’re followed by two men in a car who abduct us and then taken to a Hercules transporter where we meet our old friend Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart who is now a Brigadier and in charge of something called UNIT – United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. They are around investigating IE too.

We return to Travers’ house, only to find a note from Zoe and Isobel; saying they have gone to look for us at IE… why didn’t they just stay put? On sneaking into IE we find several packing cases being loaded up – one of them has Zoe’s feather boa sticking out – so they have them. Jamie rather hastily attacks Packer and this alerts the guards. We’re captured. Again.

15^th July 1972 pm

Vaughn is on the scene again. Charm personified. He gives us the opportunity to look for Zoe and Isobel, but the train leaves just as we arrive so he offers us the chance to check at the other end  – IE’s country compound. His office there is identical to the one in London!

We meet Watkins who appears frightened. He shows me a device he has been working on – a cerebration mentor. I’ve noticed that there are deep space communicators on site. Ask Vaughn about this, but he wants information on the TARDIS circuit. We’re taken by Packer – who we rather easily manage to distract – and we escape up the lift shaft.

We climb down the fire escape and hide inside the crates in a railway carriage.

15^th July 1972 pm

Jamie is convinced there was something inside the crate with him. Don’t get a chance to investigate as overhear that Zoe and Isobel are on the tenth floor.

Vaughn threatens Zoe over the intercom. Luckily, the Brigadier gave me a communication device so alert UNIT and they send a helicopter to rescue all of us,. Very exciting, especially with the hail of bullets around us – no-one got hurt though!

UNIT have pictures of various UFOs all over the IE factory. Using a canoe, we make our way into the IE compound again – I can’t keep away – and we see something emerging from a cocoon. A Cyberman!

15^th July 1972 eve

We return to UNIT HQ and warn the Brigadier that the Cybermen will be invading Earth – well, London at least. He needs authority from Geneva, but that requires proof. Isabel offers to take some photographs, but there’s no way he’s going to allow her to do that, male-chauvinist or not!

Discover a micro monolithic circuit in various bits of IE equipment and spend the time trying to make a device to block the telepathic signal.

16^th July 1972 am

Those crazy kids went into the sewers to take photographs of the Cybermen, narrowly escaping with their lives, but as a result a passing policeman got killed. Oh dear. And the photographs aren’t very good either – Isabel’s supposed to be a professional photographer!

Have created a neurister which blocks the Cybermen’s signal. Unfortunately mine has fallen off and only realise when the signal starts. Feeling faint…

16^th July 1972 am

Manage to recover (although Jamie gets shot). We have a plan. Blow up the Cyberfleet using Russians and Henlow Downs.

Went to talk to Tobias Vaughan. He is a very determined man and can’t convince him that the Cybermen will have their own way. Well, not until the fleet is destroyed (well done Zoe, I’m sure!) and then they turn on him and all of us with their megatron bomb to destroy all living beings on Earth.

16^th July 1972 pm

Vaughan had a bit of breakdown and now will help me destroy the signal that will guide the bomb, but not because he wants to help humanity, but because he wants revenge. Either or is fine under these circumstances.

We make our way to the signal area dodging Cybermen or turning them crazy with the machine, although in the end Vaughan is shot and I manage dodge some bullets before UNIT arrive and finish them off. Isobel then takes some rather fetching pictures of me.

The missile destroys the bomb and the remaining Cyberfleet. We’ve won … for now. I know that the Cybermen will try again in 1986, but will they come back sooner?

Repair the circuits and off we go!

The Five Word Lords

Plot, Vaughn, action! The future.

The Mind Robber

‘Oh, it’s not the Tardis going wrong again?’ Jamie

14^th September – 10^th October 1968

The Time Space Visualiser

The beginning of the story is very reminiscent of The Edge of Destruction and the TARDIS set has been suitably extended. We have not been in this metallic room before I don’t think and it has been sometime since we left the main control room. I think this story was extended by an episode to make up for the removed episode from The Dominators. Was episode one the extra episode?

Fabulous catsuit that Zoe is wearing. Jamie checks the fornicator and there is nothing wrong. Except no one is seeing anything that makes sense on the scanner and the Doctor has said stay in the TARDIS so let’s go out shall we Zoe?

They seem to have landed on the set for Blue Peter but without any couches or shelves of stuffed toys. Such a striking image the white robots. I know they were originally from another show but I remember them from the Weetabix free gift cardboard figures.

The villain of the story is going to great lengths to get the Doctor and one wonders if sending a couple of clockwork soldiers is the best way. He is called the master though! Whoever he is he seems obsessed with literature, 20th Century English literature at that, with a bit of Greek Legend thrown in. Oh and not forgetting a strip cartoon if the year 2,000.

The Doctor makes Jamie’s face all wrong and Jamie returns with a different face. The puzzle also seems to have affected his torso. Fortunately the Doctor gets another go and all is well. The Karkus is very well realised. All butch and super hero – tastic. Then, he fights Zoe and loses.

It is always good when the Doctor is sparing intellectually with the villain. There is plenty of that in this story. ‘Where as you Doctor are ageless. You exist outside the barriers of time and space.’ Bit by bit the legend builds. Six years in and we still know very little about the Doctor. Of course all that is about to change.

The world is tripping on LCD and Doctor Who gives us The Mind Robber! The story moves from bizarre, funny to genuinely creepy with moments such as when Jamie and Zoe try to lure the Doctor into the fake TARDIS. Great design and great direction. This is Doctor Who at its crazy imaginative best.

Unprovoked Angry Retort of the Week

Jamie seems to think he is back in the Highlands, so Zoe slaps him in the face.

Trivial Pursuits

Episode 5 of this story is the shortest regular episode of Doctor Who. It is less than 20 minutes long.

Notable Firsts

The TARDIS exterior is painted another colour.

The console appears outside the control room.

Gulliver is played by Bernard Horsefall making his first of many Doctor Who appearances.

Innuendo Bingo

Episode One seventeen minutes in.

The Doctor: I don’t want to blow the fluid links again.

Cliche Counter

The gloved hand. Which is even better if accompanied by an echoing voice and a maniacal laugh. Shame we don’t really get the laughter. He does have controls and monitors though.

Catchphrase Error of the Week

‘You leave us no alternative.’ Says the Master towards the end of the story’

Everyone knows it’s ‘You leave me only one option!’

The 500 Year Diary

19^th September 2068

Something strange just happened, but not sure what? In order to escape the volcano, use the emergency unit and this takes the TARDIS out of reality.

Jamie and Zoe are convinced that they have arrived home. Zoe wanders outside and is followed by Jamie. Both vanish into nothingness, but manage to get them back in. Then the noise starts…

Dreams. Strange dreams. Half remembered things. The TARDIS breaking up. Gulliver. The Master? The Master… surely not?? White robots and toy soldiers.  Jamie but not Jamie. Fiction. The mind robber? Rapunzel. A unicorn. Medusa. The Karkus… what’s that? What does it all mean?

The Five Word Lords

Great story, ‘Nothing is impossible.’

 

 

The Dominators

‘Quarks! Search and destroy!’ Toba

10^th August – 7^th September 1968

The Time Space Visualiser

So the much maligned Dominators kicks off season six with Zoe happily settled in the TARDIS. This story is always a struggle to get through and after such a great season previously with many missing episodes it is hard to find much to like in this one.

First you have the Dulcians. What a bunch of badly acted poorly realised pathetic humanoids they are. From early on I am hoping the Dominators put paid to the lot of them. ‘That is typical Dulcian behaviour’ says Cully in episode two. First sign of trouble and you wrap yourselves in a pair of curtains! ‘Universal gentleness will cause aggression to die.’ Who cares anymore?

‘Will it take long to reach the capital?’ Asks Zoe (with her photographic memory) to Culley In the capsule. Well seeing as I have just told you this thing can travel anywhere in under eight minutes, what do you think?

I want a Quark! Cute squeaky voices and spiky heads. Their arms are excellent too. Apart from their destructive power they are next to useless for the Dominators. They forever need recharging, they cannot clear the sites they destroy nor carry equipment such as the drill. And just how many of them are there? They keep getting destroyed but there always seem to be three left. ‘Quarks. Form a flank!’ Quite a cool killing effect though when that really annoying girl gets melted.

Just what is it that the Dominators want to do? The clue is supposedly in the title. But apart from being bossy they do not actually do much dominating.

Jamie gets to throw rocks at the Quarks but Cully has a massive rock which squashes the Quark. Sarah Jane could learn something about rock throwing from this scene.  I love it when Zoe gets all technical. It does seem a bit forced in these enlightened days but having a brainy woman to accompany the Doctor rarely happened in the classic series.

Brian Cant is back! Ronald Allen is the only other actor worth mentioning. The Dominators are possibly the worst villains in the history of Doctor Who. They spend the whole time arguing and sending off the Quarks to kill everyone. Allen is marvelous. Menacing and simmering as all villains should be. The sonic screw driver is back. It’s more than just a simple screw driver!

Apparently this story was going to be six episodes but it was felt there was not enough plot to sustain it. I am not sure they cut it down far enough. There is always something to enjoy in a Doctor Who story. It is a shame that in this case it is the closing titles of episode 5!

Cliché Counter

‘Should I destroy them? No! It would be a waste of energy.’ We have just invented a test with a power charge that has established absolutely nothing and there is a gun that we have fired at a wall that would probably kill them very quickly but we’ll keep them alive. Then when we capture that next lot we will use a brain scan. After discovering they are brainy but have little muscle development we will put them to work in the mines. What?

Rocks are moved. The Dominators want only the most intelligent specimens and then use them to move rocks. Until they are exhausted. Would it not have been better to pick the youngest and strongest?

The Dominators speak in clichés and the relationship between the two, one reasonable, thankfully the one in charge. and the other impetuous and aggressive, is a Doctor Who staple. Of course the aggressive one will want to report his leader to a higher power!

A lot of running around in a quarry. In fact there seems to be little else for most of these episodes.

Fascinating Facts

Dynasty producers watched a rerun of this story whilst designing Crystals outfit for the scene where she meets Mark playing tennis at La Mirage. By a strange coincidence, the teams designing the Thames Barrier also were big fans of the story.

Insert the Device

‘I will insert the seed device.’ Says Rago towards the end of the story. It is an egg shaped bomb I think. Anyway, the Doctor catches it and defuses it and we all live happily ever after.

Catchphrase Error of the Week

‘Oh my Word!’

So says the Doctor at the end of episode one. Everyone knows it’s, ‘Oh my giddy aunt!’

The 500 Year Diary

18th September 2068 am

All that mental projection is very wearing! Anyway we’ve landed on Dulkis – a very nice peaceful planet – time for a holiday! Out comes the deckchair!

Well the peace didn’t last long as we hear an explosion. We come across a random old war museum with live guns. We come across a survey team led by Balan and thankfully we’re not contaminated with radioactivity. Mysteriously, the radiation just disappeared after 172 years.

Then this Cully arrives telling us about these hostile aliens. The TARDIS is under threat. Jamie and I go and investigate, but we’re surrounded by the Dominators and their robot Quarks!

18^th September 2068 am

These Dominators aren’t particularly clever as manage to fool them into thinking that Jamie and I are not very clever by failing their intelligence tests. They then let us go as we’re no threat – although obviously we are – even stupid people can cause a lot of damage.

Off to the capital in a travel capsule to talk to the Dulcian council to try and get some action against the Dominators.

18^th September 2068 pm

They’re a pathetic lot those Dulcians – they don’t want to do anything!

On a scanner, we see that Zoe is in danger so we rush back to the island, altering the travel capsule so as to avoid the Dominators. Jamie and I split up, but alas I get caught again. On the plus side, found some Jelly Babies. I rather like them!

18^th September 2068 pm

These Dominators are really not very clever and they seem to spend a lot of time bickering. The lower one, Toba, seems to be spot on – destroy the locals, get on with it – whereas Ropa seems to make really bad decisions.

Toba makes a bad decision by leaving Zoe and I alone to explore the ship. We find out that the ship has absorbed the radiation. When he comes back, he’s in a really bad mood because one of the Quarks has been destroyed. They kill Balan and next it’s me!

18^th September 2068 eve

Phew! Ropa came back just in time to save me. They have another little argument and then take us to a drill site.

Jamie manages to confuse a Quark and we escape to a bunker where explain that the Dominators want to turn the planet into radioactive magma. The only way to stop them is to tunnel through the wall to the bore hole and catch the seed device. Get to use my sonic screwdriver again!

The earth in Dulkis is happily very loose so we dig a 12 foot tunnel very quickly just in time to catch the seed device. However, I can’t diffuse it so I run quickly back to the Dominators’ ship and put it on there before they take off. I wonder if Ropa realises what an idiot he was just before he dies. Another thought. What’s to stop the rest of the fleet and just destroying the planet?

Anyway, haven’t got time to worry about that as there’s a volcano erupting!

Artwork: BBC DVD Cover: The Dominators

The Five Word Lords

What a load of twaddle.

The Wheel in Space

‘My head’s been pumped full of facts and figures which I reel out automatically when needed. But, well, I want to feel things as well.’ Zoe

27^th April – 1^st June 1968

The Memory Cheats

This is the last story to watch that I have never watched before, although I may have seen this with tele snaps and sound track and I am sure I have seen 3 and 6 before on the Troughton years. Interesting that Victoria has been the companion for the second Doctor in this run through. Before, for me, the second Doctor’s companion was always Zoe. Possibly due to the number of Zoe episodes that have survived.

The Time Space Visualiser

A couple of seconds in and the Doctor is having trouble with the fluid link. Next time he is at Halfords he really should get a couple of spares. It seems odd to go back to a ‘separated from the TARDIS’ trope in the Second Doctor Era. Ah well, I guess we should spend the whole of the episode following the robot around. I wonder what is in the mystery eggs? Jarvis Bennet is this stories most annoying character. How he got t be in charge is anyone’s guess.

We meet Zoe. She seems rather annoying doesn’t she? We slowly get introduced to more and more annoying characters and I find myself wanting them all to be killed off, one by one! Ryan has a right go at Zoe, just because she is rarely wrong. Then Duggan finds a couple of Cybermats and hides them in the cupboard in case anyone thinks he is crazy. And he is in charge of defence!

Foam again. Hyperoxide. When the Doctor is icily convinced that ‘they will find a way’ into the Wheel. It is a great second doctor moment. ‘You know our ways.’ The chilling repetition of phrases like this gives the Cybermen extra chill factor. Their spaceship however is all a bit Blue Peter. I love the ‘Cyberflap.’ Dance as the Cybermen walk through space to the wheel. It makes me think of ‘I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper’. And there is a flashback sequence!

After a really excellent season, this is the first story to drag over it’s six episodes. There are some chilling moments. Zoe is quite keen to get in on the action which following Victoria’s final story is refreshing. The Doctor and Jamie are excellent too.

Vital Statistics

Only nine reconstructed episodes and two animations to go. I feel this pilgrimage is about to get easier. There are moving images from episode 6 which will now take me to the last batch of seven missing episodes, and I can’t pretend I am not relieved. There are some during the wilderness years that I feel I have not properly connected with and I would like to get better acquainted with some of these lost gems. I have found the series much easier to watch over this season with the eleven new episodes and the missing episodes being more of a rarity.

Cliché Counter

Here we are, in the footer, with an ethnically diverse bunch of characters and a slightly unhinged Commander. At she is a woman in this story.

Notable Firsts

I cannot promise that this section of the review is going to be 100% accurate, but it is the first time I have noticed it from here on in.

The first use of the Doctor’s moniker ‘John Smith’. He sees it written down on the medical equipment, and then it sticks.

The first appearance of a Cyber Planner. This is a device that dreams up ridiculous plans for the Cybermen to follow that are so convoluted they are doomed to fail.

Innuendo Bingo

Episode 3 7:50

Casali: There it is. And beginning to emit hard gamma already.

OK so it might not actually be one, but any sentence containing the words ‘hard’ and ‘emit’ are approaching dodgy.

Catchphrase Error of the Week

They are more robot than man. Everyone knows it is, ‘He’s more machine now than man, twisted and evil.’

In the Foooter

We will lose the ability to record sound digitally and go back to using magnetic tape which squeaks your voice back to you when you rewind. What will I do with all my MP3s?

All signs will obviously be written in the futuristic ‘computer’ font.

Lava lamps will of course become an integral part of any sophisticated technology. Well, they are footeristic after all.

The 500 Year Diary

17^th September 2068 am

The mercury fluid links are playing up again! Had to evacuate the TARDIS. We’ve ended up on some deserted space vehicle near the wheel in space. We suddenly change course and I bang my head. Need to lie down…..

17^th September 2068 am

Just drifting in and out of consciousness… there’s something wrong here….

17^th September 2068 pm

Woke up aboard the wheel. In bed. Nice to have a bit of rest actually. Given the once over by nice doctor lady. As usual suspected as saboteurs; I leave Jamie alone for a few minutes and he gets into all sorts of trouble like blowing up the gun that would have repelled the meteor shower. I suppose he was trying to stop them blowing up the TARDIS.

Met this rather clever young lady called Zoe. She was going on about logic to which I informed her allows one to be wrong with authority.

One of the crewmen has been attacked and we manage to x-ray the plastic entombed object. It’s a Cybermat. As usual, the man in charge –Jarvis Bennett – doesn’t seem to realise the danger we’re all in. If there are Cybermats here, the Cybermen can’t be too far away!

17^th September 2068 pm

Will no-one listen to me? And why does nobody remember the Cybermen? Have they been deleted from Earth’s history? It’s only when Duggan kills himself destroying the communications unit that they all start to take it seriously.

The wheel controller’s gone a bit weird. He had a change of heart and released us.

Anyway off to look around. Uh oh… a Cyberman approaches!

17^th September 2068 eve

Managed to avoid the Cyberman with some cunning hiding only to end up being cornered by Cybermats! Manage to destroy them.

This plot by the Cybermen is very complicated. Blowing up a star to cause meteorites to bombard the wheel so the crew use the laser cannon to use up the bernalium so they have to go to the rocket and the Cybermen are hiding in the crates that they were going to destroy anyway – so that was a bit of a risk! And once they’ve got the wheel, what are they going to do with it?

Anyway decided I need the time vector generator so send Jamie and it turns out Zoe possibly to their deaths in a meteorite storm. Oh dear. And also that lovely Gemma gets killed.

17^th September 2068 night

Well manage to destroy the Cybermen’s spaceship and blast the remaining Cybermen into deep space. The wheel and Earth are safe. For now!

Manage to get some mercury to repair the fluid links and this time I have some left over! We then have a stowaway. Zoe. Need to see if she’s up for the trials and tribulations ahead as I mentally project my last encounter with the Daleks.

Artwork: The Mind Reels: https://themindreels.com/2014/11/15/doctor-who-patrick-troughton-the-wheel-in-space/

The Five Word Lords

Those crazy Cybermen, whatever next?

Fury from the Deep

‘Every time we go anywhere something awful happens. Daleks. Cybermen …. yes, and Yeti. Why can’t we go anywhere pleasant, where there’s no fighting? Just peace and happiness.’

Victoria

16^th March – 20^th April 1968

The Time Space Visualiser

The TARDIS crew land in the see and then have a foam party which is all a bit upsetting! Victoria notes they always seem to land in England. Then they are all captured. There are a group of scientists all up to something again.

The Doctor surmises that the seaweed must be alive. Yes, well it is a plant! Tensions begin to mount as the seaweed takes over more people. Particularly menacing are Mr Oak and Mr Quill. A Robert Holmes double act before we have had a Robert Holmes double act. They remind me a little of characters in The Happiness Patrol. Mr Quills’s open mouthed scream is truly creepy and must have terrified the youngsters.

It’s a shame that Victoria prepares for leaving by spending the whole time moaning about how dangerous life with the Doctor is. At least she gets the first decent leaving scene for a companion since probably Susan, Ian and Barbara.

I have always read how the Pertwee Era was a bit of a reboot for the show but here, apart from UNIT, we have everything you could want from a Pertwee serial. The helicopter stunts look like they must have been amazing. I would love for this story to be discovered and will definitely head for Target. The atmosphere builds as the characters gradually get taken over. Of course it would benefit from being a couple of episodes shorter, but I really enjoyed this one.

Notable Firsts

Is this the first time we see the TARDIS spinning? A very cool landing with the TARDIS floating on the sea.

The first appearance of the sonic screwdriver.

The first flashback sequence when Victoria prepares to leave. This may be an addition to the recon that I am watching however.

‘Everybody lives!’ Troughton may not have to do a dance here, but is this the first example of a story where there are no deaths? Even the seaweed survives.

The first time an alien is thwarted by amplified noises.

Cliche Counter

The Companion Scream.

What would an era of Doctor Who be like without one? And here we are in full blast. Victoria really goes for it here, so much so that it echoes around the building and your brain. Eventually though it becomes a mechanism for their escape as Robson can’t seem to tolerate it. And as if that isn’t all –

The companion has seen the monster though no one believes it! Of course not! Not even the Doctor. You’d think they’d have learned by now!

This story has all the favourites. A shouty commander, Robson, whose base is under siege from foam.

Innuendo Bingo

Episode One 1:30

The Doctor: Let’s take a close look at this weed.

Episode 5 3:20

Doctor: Someone somewhere is in control of this weed.

Episode 6 6:15

Doctor: I got it up alright!

Catchphrase Error of the Week

‘The computer says no!’ Clent in episode six. Everybody knows it’s . . .hold on, he got it right!

Trivial Pursuits

This is the final story without any surviving episodes.

The 500 Year Diary

14^th September 1975 am

Landed on water! At least the TARDIS floats. Took a boat over to the land where had some fun with foam. We’ve landed in England again…. I wonder why this keeps happening?  Perhaps the TARDIS has a fondness for old Blighty.

We find a pipe. I investigate it using my sonic screwdriver; I’ve been meaning to use it for some time. Anyway, next thing we’re shot! We wake up inside a base and interrogated by an angry chap called Robson. All is not right here – they’ve lost contact with the rigs, but of course we’re blamed for tampering.

We’re locked up, but we escape through Victoria using a hairpin. Should remember to use the sonic screwdriver, although not sure it works on wood. Foolishly I send Victoria away whilst Jamie and I investigate the impeller. There is definitely something in there.

Next thing, we hear Victoria screaming, but where is she?

14^th September 1975 pm

We find Victoria in the Oxygen Store. She says she was ‘attacked’ by the foam and that there was a creature inside!

Harris drags me away to see his wife who’s not very well. There is poisonous gas in the house and she’s out cold.

14^th September 1975 eve

We find some seaweed in the room. After a bit of investigation, we notice that it’s alive! We’ve also been let loose so a quick trip back to the TARDIS enables me to find a book of myths and legends about mysterious sea creatures.

Back at the Harris’ house, we’re attacked by weed and foam. Manage to pull Jamie out through a skylight. Victoria seems odd. Like she doesn’t want to be with us anymore.

Anyway report back to the base. This seaweed is a parasite that gives off a toxic gas. Harris then finds out that the medical crew never did pick up his wife, but where is she? She wasn’t in the house?

15^th September 1975 am

Victoria is in a strange mood. Reading between the lines, I think she wants to leave us. Let’s hope she’ll change her mind.

Despite my warnings, Van Lutyens goes down to investigate the base of the impeller shaft. We hear screams and he’s gone. The same fate nearly meets me and Jamie as the foam rises and the weed creature moves to attack us. No one seems to notice upstairs, but luckily there’s a maintenance ladder. When we get back upstairs everyone, including Victoria, seems to have disappeared.

Meet an official type, Megan Jones, who is willing to listen about the weed, the foam and that it has taken control of key personnel such as Robson. Think she’s finally convinced when she sees the weed trying to escape out of the shaft. The first part of the invasion!

15^th September 1975 pm

The weed is going to attack the refinery. We must stop it… pure oxygen can stop it as well as something else…. Sound.  Someone else in the refinery is working more the weed. Turns out it was a Mr. Oak & a Mr. Quill … they did look pretty odd chaps.

The foam breaks through into the Pipeline Room… we just about escape although Victoria is missing. Robson has kidnapped her and taken her by helicopter to a deserted rig. She will only be safe if I join the weed… what choice do I have? So Jamie & I take a helicopter to the base only to find Robson in the foam waiting for us.

16^th September 1975

Realised I’m not very good at flying helicopters!

Defeated the weed by playing out Victoria’s screams over the PR system. And the amazing thing…. Nobody died!

Victoria did decide to leave and stay with the Harris’. Jamie is in a bit of a sulk about, but it is her decision. And I was very fond of her too….

Artwork: http://hisi79.deviantart.com/art/Fury-From-The-Deep-wallpaper-397459094

The Five Word Lords

Claustrophobic, menacing, tense – with foam!

The Web of Fear

‘Well before you begin this rapturous reunion, there are one or two questions I’d like answered. For a start, is there anyone else down here playing hide and seek?’

Colonel Lethbridge Stewart

3^rd February – 9^th March 1968

The Time Space Visualiser

The Yeti are back and only three months after we left Tibet, and they seem even cuddlier than the last time.

The legendary Covent Garden sets are really good. It is interesting that the Doctor needs to see the sign before he knows he is in a tube station. Nowadays the Doctor would know straight away he was in the tube. The sets are good and I love the tunnel. The ‘Way Out’ sign is perfect. ‘It’s funny how we keep landing on your Earth!’ I like how time has moved on too. It’s an Armageddon scenario. It is another great twist to see a character from a previous story 40 years on. This time the make-up and performance are quite convincing, and I have to look at the cast list to check it is still Jack Watling. I really like the special web over the closing titles too! A great first episode.

The mystery builds and we are lead to believe it is the TV reporter who is the traitor. This is an obvious red herring so we are left to guess at who it might be when the Brig arrives. Obviously now we know it could not have been him, but I think back then, he would have been my chief suspect. Is it Travers? Surely not. He arrives flanked by Yeti and in possession tells the Doctor he wants his brain. Fortunately he gives him time to think about it. Why do villains always do that?

But it was Arnold all along. ‘Step into the machine Doctor!’ he commands. Is it a machine or a greenhouse? It is not long before the Doctor is surrounded by wires so we know he must be about to thwart the Great Intelligence. Except does he? Jamie gets the controlled Yeti to attack so is that what finishes them off? In all the excitement, no one seems to notice the TV reporter guy, Chorley, is clearly groping Victoria towards the end of episode 6.

A thrilling end to a gripping story. It was tense and will acted and directed. Much better than the prequel.  Again I am delighted that this one was mostly discovered and what a joy to have to only resort to telesnaps for episode 3. A taste of things to come?

Notable First

UNIT and the Brigadier. What a shame the moment the Doctor and the Brigadier first meet is on the still missing episode. (Yes, I know he is only a Colonel here but I am thinking bigger picture.) Nicholas Courtney is the best Doctor that never was and he is already excellent here. Benton is here too. Well not actually. John Levene is playing a Yeti!

Innuendo Bingo

Episode 1 22:42

Knight: I want that tunnel blown as soon as possible.

Rubbish Hiding Place of the Week

Evans hides behind the tube map! It was worth finding the story just for that moment.

Racist Moment of the Week

Silverstein. He is a curator (!) of a museum that holds the Yeti. However, he seems unable to talk properly and is the worst stereotype of a Jew since Fagin.

Evans. Bumbling 60s Welsh character off of BBC. Almost as good as the one in survivors. Shame he wasn’t called Taff! ‘Stop bleating like a Welsh baa lamb, Evans!’

Lookie Likey

Captain Knight. Or as we know him now, former Prime Minister Gordon Brown!

The 500 Year Diary

11^th September 1968 am

Jamie managed to shut the doors! Thank goodness! Although more strange goings-on with the TARDIS as we appear to be held in space surrounded by a web like substance. The web of fear!

Manage to shake us free and land in Covent Garden underground station, but it’s very quiet. Turns out that London is deserted. The disadvantage of having companions not from the modern times is that they don’t realise day-to-day dangers such as Jamie on the Underground tracks. Thankfully the electricity was off!

We find a power cable, which we follow, Jamie & Victoria following a little way behind me. In the background I hear Victoria scream. That’ll probably be them captured. Oh well.

I arrive at Charing Cross station and see crates of explosives, but – oh my giddy aunt – I hear the sound of a Yeti! What are they doing here? In the Underground – they could be anywhere from Tooting Bec to Perivale! When it’s gone, I investigate the crates now covered in a web like substance, but then they explode and I’m thrown onto the platform…

13^th September 1968 am

Bit hazy. Got knocked out, started wandering for a bit. Bumped into some army Colonel chap, Lethbridge-Stewart who captured me. Path of the course really.

13^th September 1968 pm

Eventually we bump into Victoria. Professor Travers from Tibet is here! So we’re taken to him and rather than him being suspicious as I was led to believe, he is actually delighted to see me! He’s now working with his daughter, Ann, who seems an intelligent young lady.

I notice the Yeti have changed their design. Ann & Travers are working on one of the spheres and how they could jam transmissions. However, other pressing matters are at hand as the Intelligence is spreading. Suggested that we push a luggage trolley full of explosives down the track at Goodge Street, sealing ourselves in.

It turns out that there is a traitor in our mist – someone is placing Yeti models in particular places to draw the Yeti in. They therefore have intercepted the explosives. I have my suspicions about the journalist Chorley, who’s acting very oddly. Victoria tells him a little bit too much and after being released from the locked common room, Victoria and I go out to find him.

13^th September 1968 pm

I think Chorley’s on his way to Covent Garden to find the TARDIS; however, the route is blocked so we take a little detour through Piccadilly.  We come across a web and manage to collect a sample.

As we return to the fortress, we notice that there’s been an attack. Ann’s on the floor and Travers is gone!

Have to let Captain Knight and the Colonel into the fact that we’re time travellers with a time machine. Lethbridge-Stewart doesn’t seem surprised!

Ann wakes up and tells me that her and her father were about to connect the controlling device to the sphere. Driver Evans comes in and gives me one of the model Yeti! In addition, the his tobacco tin which I put the sample in is empty. I have my suspicions about him too.

Whilst the rest of the soldiers go off to do battle with the Yeti, we persuade Knight to accompany me to an electrical store to get the supplies we need to upgrade the controlling unit. A big mistake really, as he is killed by the Yeti who were lured there by one of the models.

Back at the fortress, the Colonel arrives – all his men were killed. While we take this in, I hear that familiar sound. Then the Yeti arrive accompanied by Travers!

13^th September 1968 eve

Through Travers, the Great Intelligence tell me they want my mind – my knowledge would be useful – they take Victoria as a hostage. I have 20 minutes to think about it (although why they give me all this time is a bit of a flaw in their plan as I obviously will use the time to plot something). Evans helpfully thinks I should just be handed over so they can all go home – thanks!

Anne and I successfully build a control unit that works at close range on the sphere. We use this to scare Evans… hand me over indeed! We head off into the tunnels and bump into a Yeti who we manage to test our sphere on. It works! We have control of a Yeti.

13^th September 1968 night

Decide not to tell anyone about the Yeti. Not sure who we can trust. Give it some orders to go back to the Intelligence, until I need it, although in the subsequent confusion I lose track of which one it is.

I have a plan which needs me to confront the Intelligence. Once I get into the pyramid, I can defeat it once and for all as I’ve adjusted the controls on the helmet given to me.

It turns out that Arnold was the traitor. Just as the procedure is about to start, Jamie orders the controlled Yeti to attack despite me telling them not to all to interfere. Too late. They manage to destroy the Yeti, Arnold and the pyramid without my help! This depresses me as I could have destroyed them forever – all we’ve done is cut off their link in space. Victoria and Ann think I’m a hero which cheers me up until I’m told that might make a television programme about me, I’ll become a household name. Oh dear, I don’t want that. So we make our excuses and head back to the TARDIS, hoping that they don’t start running the trains!

Artwork: http://hisi79.deviantart.com/art/The-Web-of-Fear-wallpaper-395373632

The Five Word Lords

A great creepy mysterious whodunit.