The Ice Warriors

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‘Five thousand years of history… crushed beneath a moving mountain of ice.’ – Leader Clent

11th November – 16th December 1967

The Time Space Visualiser

We start with a special intro for the title. There are men outside in the ice, and they have no reception on their mobile phone. Must be 02! There is a second Ice Age on its way and it is up to a guy called Clent to sort it out with his ionising device. At least there is plenty of snow here. Tibet seemed to be experiencing a bit of a thaw.

A great TARDIS landing scene sliding on its side. However the familiar ‘wheezing and groaning sound’ seems to have been replaced by the lady off of Star Trek. And she is really going for it! Is Clent dressed in a War Games Time Lord costume? They find a frozen Viking. ‘A proper Ice Warrior isn’t he?’ Is this the first case of a character naming an alien race?

Why has Clent got a countdown clock timer? He asks the doctor how he will return the climate back to normal and then commands, ‘You have 45 seconds starting from now!’ Does he also host quiz shows? It even comes with a handy bell. We could do with one of those for the name game. I’d like to see Emma break one of those!

Animated recon time. Quite frustrating following the exciting cliffhanger with the Ice melting and a first glimpse of the Ice Warrior. I soon get used to it. It seems strange that Jamie leaves Victoria with the Ice Warrior. Maybe I missed a bit. Realised from the credits it is Peter Sallis playing Penley and have spotted him from his voice now.

Oh no, Jamie and the other chap have been killed. Phew. It’s ok. Just the other chap. Jamie survived! Victoria miraculously (and mysteriously) escapes and is managing to evade the pursuant Ice Warrior but then decides a helpful scream is what is needed to alert her chaser of her whereabouts and potentially cause an avalanche. The glacier sets are really good. The Doctor first meets the Ice Warriors and looks tiny next to the Bresslaw giant. The close ups of the Ice Warrior mouths work well.

Jamie and Penley are off in the snow and Jamie tells Penley to ‘Lead on Macduff.’ It is amazing how Jamie has come on from ignorant highlander to quoting Shakespeare. Is it reasonable to assume he will have watched a bit of theatre back in the Highland day? On the other hand Penley quotes Star Trek., ‘I’m a scientist not a gladiator.’

A really enjoyable story this one. Obviously Peter Barkworth is the stand out performance. The design of the sets is quite breathtaking and put Dragonfire to shame. The regulars are as always on top form, even if Victoria is reduced to just being captured, escaping, screaming and being recaptured. The scene where she tells Jamie off for ogling at the miniskirts is good fun.

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How to Make . . .

. . .your Ice Warrior name. Take the first consonant from your surname, double the first vowel in your first name and add the first syllable of where you live. I’m Jaachel.

Insert the Device

The Vibro Chair. I want one of those.

‘We are checking the motivator.’ says a Warrior. What for I wonder?

Cliché Counter

‘Shall we kill her? No she may be useful! As bait.’ But you kept us waiting all week for that resolution! After the jaw dropping deaths of Katrina and Sara these jeopardy moments with Jamie and Victoria seem quite pointless!

In the Footer…

The mighty computer! As we know from previous stories, people ‘in the foooter’ retain a cynical view about computers! Apart from the geek that is in charge of it of course. He will rely on it too much and that will probably lead to problems. After all, he has a printed circuit where his heart should be. What a fabulous voice this one has too. (It’s Zippy I find out in the credits!) Here we are in the footer all carrying around computers in our pockets! ‘Well, never mind.’

The replicator. A great footeristic device this with a fully modernised dial interface off of old telephones.

Innuendo Bingo

Episode 5 9:50

Jamie: Get a hold of yourself man!

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The 500 year Diary

8th September 5035 am

The TARDIS lands again – on its side! Sorry Jamie, it is cold – very cold – a lot more snow. Jamie thinks we’ve landed further up the mountain, but the plastic dome suggests otherwise.

After a bit of mooching around in this Georgian House, marked as scavengers, we find a control room. Sensing there was a bit of a flap on, I manage to avert a reactor explosion by taking control much to annoyance of Leader Clent. He seems to be rather reliant on computers, which when calculating the countdown to disaster was 1 second different from me – well, nobody’s perfect. Despite this, have to prove my value to Clent b working out what’s going on. The Second Ice Age. The cause… a drop in the carbon dioxide level. One day, apparently, there was no spring.

Then this chap, Arden, comes in with a strange creature. Something found in the ice. The ice warriors? Something odd about it – there’s an electrical connection in the helmet. Leave Jamie and Victoria to it as Clent wants a meeting in 3 minutes 15 seconds.

8th September  5035 pm

Was late for the meeting. Oh dear. I’m concerned that if this creature is alien, there may be an atomic spaceship under the ice that will react with the ioniser and cause a huge explosion.  Jamie bursts in. The creature has come to life and kidnapped Victoria!

Later on, I’m wandering around the base and come across the infamous Penley. Initially thought that he’d attacked Clent, but he assures me he was trying to help him; however, he won’t stay to help with the ioniser.

Jamie and Arden return from looking for Victoria (although think Arden is more concerned about the creature) with no luck. I suggest they wait until morning with the prospect of more of those creatures out there.

9th September 5035 am

Who needs computers when I’m around? I’ve proved that the ioniser can be used more effectively. Miss Garrett contributed ‘the Omega factor’ – that certainly helped. I just hope that it’s not related to the Hand Of Omega or the Omega Dalek or even… no, it couldn’t be…

Jamie and Arden went off looking for Victoria, although I suspect Arden was more interested in the aliens. However, we lose contact. I fear the worst, particularly as Victoria appears on screen and tells me they’ve both been shot! Oh Jamie!

9th September 5035 pm

I decide to go and rescue Victoria from the spaceship taking ‘ammonium sulphate’ (or a stink bomb) with me, alongside a communicator, from their funny machine with an old telephone dial. Very retro. On the way I meet Penley again who tells me he has Jamie – who’s alive; however, he’s paralysed – but happily it’s only temporary.

When I arrive, these Ice Warriors are very rude. So rude in fact they decide to remove the air from the airlock knowing that I’ll explode until I tell them my motives!

9th September 5035 eve

So I just decide to tell them my motives which thankfully saves me – I suppose I could have just done that in the first place! There’s no reasoning with these Martians who think this ioniser is a weapon, but before my communicator is discovered I let Clent know that he must use the ioniser regardless. I just hope he listens to me and not that computer!

As the Martians prepare their sonic cannon, Victoria and I – using a little distraction – manage to use the ammonium. However, as one of them falls, it manages to activate the cannon!

9th September 5035 night

Luckily, the cannon didn’t do much damage – the records room has gone though. With a little bit of sabotage, I manage to turn the gun of the so-called Ice Warriors on themselves although this potentially could harm the humans too – a risk worth taking?

In the end, the humans at the base were knocked unconscious, but the Martians fled back to their ship which was destroyed with a few adjustments to the ioniser. This was only because Penley was brave enough to go against the computer and Clent. Computer says no indeed. So after all of that, we slip off back to the TARDIS hoping that Penley and Clent will be able to work together. Somewhere definitely warm next time we hope!

Artwork: BBC DVD Cover: The Ice Warriors

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The Five Word Lords

Great costumes, atmospheric, anti-technology.


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