“Our lives are different to anybody else’s, that’s the exciting thing. Nobody in the universe can do what we are doing.” The Doctor.
2nd – 23rd September 1967
The Time Space Visualiser
Season 5 opens with the first full Troughton story and to celebrate I am watching on the big television. No iPad today. It is quite exciting watching this story in context for the first time having seen the three lead characters begin to get to know each other. There are some effective location shots. Another fabulous female villain in Kaftan, and she has a great shoulder bag.
I love how The Doctor asks Jamie to move all the levers in exactly the same order and Jamie just happily does it. Straight off. The whole lever moving exercise in this story is enthralling, especially when symbolic logic is applied. C before 2F only if 3 is D. Indeed! And they have food pills too. Victoria doesn’t really have a lot to do, does she? I am not clear why Kaftan has to drug her. She would not have been able to stop her closing the hatch and Kaftan has a gun anyway. We finally get the cyber theme for the iconic scene as they burst from their tomb. The best Cyber design and the chilling ‘You shall be like us.’ Their voices are so much better when they do not have any emotion.
Kaftan awakes and excels at manic eye acting. When the Cybermen attack it sounds like attack of the didgeridoos. I love it when on Doctor Who in the 1960s they all have a sleep. They always lie in the most uncomfortable positions. When Eric yells down the hatch that he wants to speak to the Cyber Controller, the Cybermen are just standing around. What have they been up to? Blowing on their vuvuzelers mostly.
In another example of manipulation from the second Doctor we see him get the humans to do the dirty work. He wants them to find the cyborgs. Victoria is already quite annoying. They should have left her on Skaro. This must be her worst story. ‘The women will of course stay here.’ The scene where the Doctor comforts her is excellent however and a rare glimpse of the Doctor revealing information about his family.
Klieg grabs the ‘Worst Villain’ trophy from Zaroff in this story. The Cybermen do not even pretend they will work with him and he still wants to be their friend. All he really does is eulogise. Unusual for the Doctor to rig a lethal booby trap for the door. Maybe he will put some signs up before they go.
A classic story however. Despite the weaknesses, and there are many, the Doctor and the Cybermen are a tour de force. The design and direction are also superb. There is even foam.
Episode 1: 1:00
Victoria : What are all these knobs?
Episode 1: 3:30
We had to make it a pretty big one!
Episode 1: 4:30
You’ve just blown yourself a pair of doors.
Jim Morrison and his band were always on the receiving end of oral stimulation in the 60s and this was 2 years before The Italian Job!
Episode 4 7:20
Eric: If the Cybermen are aroused we will be waiting for them!
The Doctor mentions his age. 450 years in Earth terms. He doesn’t say 450 of your Earth years though which would have been great.
Cybermats. And aren’t they cute and little? And it moves so quickly.
The Cyber Controller. He comes back again with goodd old Michael Kilgarif who puts on weight in time for 1985’s Attack of the Cybermen.
Racist Moment of the Week
We have only just said goodbye to Kemel on a cliff top and atop another cliff comes another lumbering stereotype of a person of colour. Tobermen. At least he gets to talk in this story. About five words. Then he gets pulled away like a thunderbirds puppet. He does come back though, and in his dying breath before he is electrocuted he has 9 more words!
Hayden. A shouty mad man about to have a nervous breakdown. His roll in the story is just to panic and be annoying. You know he is going to be the first to die. Isn’t he off of Colony in Space? Please also note the misguided leader of the expedition and more cod American accents than The Gunfighters.
Insert the Device
Another orgasmatron in this story and they all want to have a go in it. The best bit however is when the Cyber Controller has his go and the lights all flash and it goes crazy.
500 Year Diary
4th September 2486 am
Victoria seems to be coping with her new life with us even by putting on a short (by her standards) dress.
So we leave Skaro and land on what turns out to be Telos, where the remains of the Cybermen are thought to be. An archaeological expedition is on hand including two rather supercilious people called Klieg & Kaftan. The tomb of the Cybermen is best left alone although I am very curious as to what’s inside. I just.. er.. nudge things along when necessary. I use my special technique – keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut!
Have to keep an eye on everyone here, particularly Kaftan who seems to want to ‘convert’ Victoria. Happily I am able stop her, but I’m too late from saving poor Haydon.
4th September 2486 pm
The Brotherkood Of Logicians! Not very logical really thinking they can bargain with the Cybermen as well as destroying their own means of escape by bulling up the rocket (probably).
Find a Cybermat. Pesky little things. I tell Victoria to leave them alone, but not sure if she was listening….
Anyway, we get into the hatch (with my help) and see the frozen toms below. Klieg believes he can work them, but as the Cybercontroller tells us, “You belong to us. You shall be like us.”
4th September 2486 eve
Oh dear. The Cybermen appear to recognise me. Luckily they didn’t shoot me on the spot!
Captain Hopper manages to rescue us with smoke bombs although poor Toberman is left behind. Whilst resting I manage to have a chat with Victoria about her father, after leaving me to sleep because I am 450 years old! I tell her about my family and how I have to really want to remember them, to bring them back in front of my eyes. The rest of the time they sleep in my mind, and I forget. There’s so much else to think about. Our lives are different to anybody else’s. That’s the exciting thing. There’s nobody in the universe can do what we’re doing.
Next thing, the Cybermats attack, but I create an electrical field. However, Klieg and Kaftan appear with a gun which they fire. Perhaps locking them in a room with a deadly Cyber weapon was a mistake?
5th September 2486
Toberman survived, but he was converted thus putting pay to Klieg. I manage to convince him that he’s human and he goes for the Cybercontroller after it kills Kaftan. I’m sure his head nearly fell off when he was thrown across the room!
I return to the tom to refreeze the remaining Cybermen; however, Klieg has turned up still convinced he can do business with them – he really is not very intelligent or logical at all! He’s killed for his convictions – I wonder if he realised at the end.
The tomb must be sealed forever. I electrify the whole thing – I hope there are no random passers-by. Toberman saves us all by shutting the doors – he’s not even buried or taken away. And so off to our next adventure. The end of the Cybermen.
Or is it…..
PS: Must remember to give Jamie a lesson in tying knots.
The Five Word Lords
Cybermen emerge then go back.
Artwork: BBC DVD Video: The Tomb of the Cybermen.