The Space Museum

museum 3

‘I’m afraid I’m no great expert when it comes to changing the future.’ Ian

24th April – 15th May 1965

The Memory Cheats

The first time I saw this story was during the ’93 run through. I think I found it quite tedious and didn’t really enjoy it. So much so that when I got back to it on DVD only a couple of years ago I didn’t really remember it at all. I enjoyed it though. Alright, here are some bits that don’t make sense, Vicki is probably annoying and it has a rather strange group of aliens. I am looking forward to it though.

The Time Space Visualiser

The heroes, while frozen in time mysteriously appear in their old clothes. Apart from Vicki who is suddenly wearing silly little girl’s clothes with white socks. Clearly a plot device to get them out of Roman clothes. Happily this mystery is solved quickly by the Doctor explaining that it is time and relativity! Of course, now I understand. He then tells them it’s safe to go outside. Has he not learned? They soon discover they are leaving no foot prints. The door opens and two men come towards the crew so they hide. Why? Isn’t it meant to be a museum? Vicki then gives the worst acted largest sneeze when trying to be quiet that has ever been seen. Luckily this is mysteriously not heard by the walking folk. Later more walking folk pass them, this time dressed completely in black. This helps the crew realise that no one can see them. The Doctor soon works out that they haven’t actually arrived yet just in time for a montage as time catches up with them.

What amazing aliens these are in terms of eyebrows. Despite Ian brandishing a gun, the TARDIS crew haven’t killed anyone yet and we are 10 minutes into episode 2. It isn’t long before the Doctor gets captured though. All be it with good intentions. Lobos questions the Doctor. This scene is fantastic and hilarious all at the same time.  It is reassuring to know that museums still have exit signs in Vicki’s time. I love how the guard captures Ian, Barbara and Vicki and then let’s them have a little chat about the time paradox and plan their escape. ‘We hate the Moroks! You can see we are nothing like them.’ Well of course, you wear black and your eyebrows are an even sillier shape whereas the Moroks all have Molly Sugden wigs.

Ian finds the Doctor and he is told it is all too late as the Doctor is already in the second stage of preparation. Fortunately a few minutes into episode four everything is alright again. ‘Barbara you look terrible!’ Thanks Vicki!

I wonder if you have ever gone into a room , turned on the light and had to wait for a few seconds before the light comes on. Most people have. Can we have a show of hands on that? What a rubbish explanation.

Unprovoked Angry Retort of the Week

When Vicki suggests he could have been captured Barbara yells that she is letting her imagination get away with her. Why? It happens every week!

Notable Firsts

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey. For the first time, time works strangely for the TARDIS crew as Vicki drops a glass and it jumps back into her hand. We soon learn the TARDIS has jumped the travellers into the fourth dimension and as Vicky so cleverly explains: ‘Time, like space, although a dimension in itself also has dimensions of its own.’ So are we all clear on that one now?

The first time the Doctor meets a curator. There are others but we all know the most recent one!

The first time the Daleks appear with the power slats and also the first time they confirm the Doctor and his companions as their greatest enemies.

Catchphrase Error of the Week.

The Doctor, pretending to be a Dalek says ‘I am the Master.’ Everyone knows that was the Master’s catch phrase. The Daleks say, ‘We are the bastards of Earth!’

Insert the Device

The truth machine and they falter at the first question. Vicki bizarrely suggests not answering to hear all the questions which even more bizarrely seems to work. And a chain of about ten questions follow that end in what is the current password. Thankfully, Vicki seems able to rewire the device! And the device just lets her in!

Innuendo Bingo

‘Leave it alone.’ Guard to the Moroks right at the beginning of episode 3.

Cliché Counter

The Alien Salute: this species place their arm with clenched fist across the chest.

‘Incompetent fools!’ Yells the commander to his minions. Obviously. An evil alien leader’s minions always are!

Pointy eyebrows, long before Spock.

museum 1

The 500 Year Diary

8th August 2965 am

We’ve jumped a time track! Thank goodness actually as I think Ian wanted to get naked! Something’s up – glasses smashing and reassembling. I put it down to time and relativity.

We’ve landed at a space museum judging by the spaceships lined up outside. As we explore the planet, we leave no footprints! And then people can’t see or hear us and we can’t hear them. Plus we cannot touch any of the exhibits … well some of them. All very odd! Also Ian and Barbara are quite ratty with each other; perhaps Ian’s had enough of everyone fancying Barbara all the time.

There’s a Dalek on display. Vicki’s never seen one before. Then we come across the TARDIS – another exhibit! Most terrifying of all is seeing the four of us as exhibits. We must be temporarily occupying the fourth dimension. The only thing to do is wait at the space museum until we return to the real reality. Suddenly, we all feel a bit odd and our display cases disappear. We’ve arrived!

8th August 2965 pm

We have to escape our destiny. We should do the opposite of what we normally do. Except we decide to escape, which is what we would normally do! The dimensions of time are very complicated.

As we wander the corridors lit by floresc… floresca… florescent lighting, I get captured by these young man wearing very nice belts and trainers. Must get a pair of those. They leave me with this one fellow who I manage to gag and tie up before hiding in the Dalek. I make my escape only to be captured by the Moroks!

I’m put in this chair and interrogated by the bored looking governor, Lobos. Manage to confuse his machine by telling him we arrived on a unicycle and that we are from the planet of the walruses. Even manage to project an image of myself in a Victorian bathing suit. However, he’s not amused and I get taken away to the preparation room to become an exhibit!

8th August 2965 eve

Despite being put under, my brain was working at the speed of a mechanical computer. I’m asking myself questions and the answers were arriving with remarkable alacrity. I’m not enjoying the refrigeration, it brings on my rheumatism. Not good with the cold. Hope we never end up in the Antarctic or something. Hope that the others are on the search for me!

8th August night

Ian saves me before the final phase. Apparently the process is irreversible. Except it’s not.

To be honest the Moroks are pretty rubbish what with their bouffant hair. What’s the point of a museum that no-one visits? Perhaps the guns put people off. The opposing Xerons are not much cop too. Apparently, they could only muster their revolution over coffee with Vicki.

Anyway we all end up getting captured in the preparation room. It seems our fate is sealed! We just hope that what we’ve done on Xeron will influence events. And it has! The revolution happens – a small group of rebels overpower a slightly bigger group of curators. Happily we get rescued just before we get shot!

Back at the ship, I work out that it was yet another dodgy switch. Really need to get the TARDIS sorted out. Have managed to acquire a Time-Space Visualiser from the museum that I’m taking. No-one asks any questions, not even Tor who has progressed from putting his hands on his hips to pointing. Can’t remember how I got thing into the TARDIS though?

museum 2

The Five Word Lords

Another switch ruins the plot!

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