Planet of Giants

‘I admit it’s all a bit haphazard, but it seems to have some kind of a pattern about it, and this pattern suggests to me that there’s a brain with a purpose behind it all,’

The Doctor


31 October – 14 November 1964

The Memory Cheats

This little three parter is the last in this run of new episodes for me and I am looking forward to it. It’s written by Louis marks off of Day of the Daleks. Memories of the Incredible Shrinking Man, Land of the Giants and Honey I Shrunk the Kids abound with pictures of large props, plug holes, insects and polystyrene cheese. Can’t wait! Series two begins here.

The Time Space Visualiser

The fornicator showing a fault on QR14. Wow! Maybe its problems with the fast return switch again. Susan screams. Again. ‘Doctor are you alright?’ says Ian. ‘Don’t bother me!’ says the Doctor. Charming!  We learn that the most dangerous point is materialisation. Was that ever explored again? After complaining that Ian and Barbara are too 20th Century in their thinking we get a close up of the TARDIS scanner. A 1960s black and white tv. The Doctor is great in his cloak. It is interesting that in most of the stories now he can’t wait to get away. Great spirit of adventure indeed! Love that the Doctor tells them not to stare at the cat whilst unable to take his eyes of the cat! The drain smells of chemicals so will be germ free. Yes, just possibly lethal or corrosive chemicals so it’s all fine. Attempt at developing a catch phrase in season 2. ‘Just as well the pipe is corroded so there are lots of footholds.’  Everyone is saying it. Shame it didn’t catch on. ‘Didn’t you have something to tell me?’ Asks Ian of Barbara. ‘It’s not important now. A fly has just been killed by some insecticide that is all over my hand. Didn’t mention it earlier but I am sure it is fine.’ Climbing down Ian suggests it is about 30 feet. Really?. Titles over action again. The sink that seems to take a lifetime to empty. Rubbish voice disguising by the villain. Does not change his voice, just puts a hanky over the receiver. Also rubbish is Ian’s Science knowledge as he looks at the formula on the pad. ‘Can you hear us?’ Fabulous shouting acting. Well obviously not as established in the previous episode the frequency of the voices would make the pitch of the voices impossible to hear. Maybe they were calling a dog. Cannot fathom why Barbara doesn’t tell them about the insecticide. ‘Can it harm humans?’  ‘Perhaps we could make an antidote.’ Just asks a series of random questions that only someone who had been poisoned would ask. Not sure about the science in the denouement. How come the poison and the grain don’t grow back with the TARDIS crew? All in all a mixed bag. A rather bizarre tale of a dangerous insecticide in suburban 60s Britain that reminds me of the green politics of the Malcolm Hulke Pertwee stories. It is strange to be in a contemporary setting and the TARDIS crew have to be shrunk so they are unable to return. Is it still the principle of the show that Ian and Barbara want to get home? The props are amazing. Raymond Cusak is amazing. I think it is mercifully short at three episodes but I did enjoy it.

Innuendo Bingo

Barbara: ‘Can you get the flap open?’ Ian: ‘I am just going to try.’ Barbara: ‘Can I help? 13:40 into episode 2.

See, I told you they were doing it!

Barbara to Ian: ‘Its whole body was quivering.’ 17:40 into episode 2.

Ian: ‘how are you doing?’ Barbara: ‘Alright, there’s plenty to hold on to.’ 20:23 into episode 2.

Episode 2 is just an Ian and Barbara love fest!

Unprovoked Angry Retort of the Week

Ian to the Doctor: ‘Doctor are you alright?’ The Doctor’s reply: ‘Oh please don’t bother me!’ Episode 1

Vital Statistics

Episode 45/813 (5.5% Watched)


The 500 Year Diary

28th July 1964 am

Well, managed to get Ian & Barbara back to their own time, but would you believe it! We’ve been miniaturised to the size of one inch – it’s like a planet of giants! Not sure how this happened, but the doors opened randomly at the point of materialisation… had a lot of problems with the ship lately. The fault locator was useless. Think I’ll have to pack that away and never mention it again. And another thing – the scanner blew up! Surrounded by dead things. Earthworms. Bees falling from the sky. We can’t have bees disappearing like that. Clever things, bees! Ian gets himself trapped in a matchbox so we have to traverse the garden to find him. Turns out there’s been a murder… lately, we do seem to become embroiled in murder mystery type things. Well, we don’t want to get involved in another so off we went only to face a terrifying cat!

28th July pm Luckily the cat got bored from our standing not very still technique. Decide not to risk the dangerous journey back to the ship at this time. Anyway we get split up again…. Ian & Barbara end up in a briefcase which is taken away. We end up scaling a drainpipe trying to find them! Once we get there – and believe me it was very arduous. We decide to go back the way we came. Bit of a wasted journey really. Anyway, that’s by the by as someone was washing their hands in the sink and then… they pulled the plug out! 2

8th July eve I could have sworn the plug was put on the bench and not left in the sink. Oh well, we all make mistakes… Luckily avoided being drowned by climbing into the overflow pipe. Phew… averted that crisis! We then find this notebook with a chemical formula. Get to use my scientific skills to works out that is rather deadly and killing all the wildlife. So we have this crazy scheme of contacting the police by using corks to lift up the phone. Again, not sure why when we’d already deduced we wouldn’t be able to communicate with the humans. Barbara then goes and collapses. She’d touched the poisoned wheat and hadn’t said anything. Had a bit of a go at her – hopefully, returning to normal size will fix her. We then have another crazy scheme whereby we deliberately start a fire using a gas tap to ignite a can of insecticide…. That could kill us all! However, we got away with it and my extremely keen eye noticed the police had arrived. So back to the ship. Asked all to scrub up – we always seem to get dirty wherever we go – trying to work out where we are, but the scanner’s on the blink! 

planet of giants 2

The Five Word Lords

Doctor Who meets The Avengers.


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